4 years ago today I gave birth to the most beautiful baby. I really don’t remember much about her birth, other then it was unmedicated and the doctor missed the delivery, I don’t remember it being very traumatic. What stands out in my mind with Aubrey is the miracle that occurred when she was still inside.
We went to the doctor for our first appointment, and all was well, he scheduled an ultrasound and when we went to the ultrasound there was no baby. He diagnosed her as a blyted ovum there was no heart beat, just an empty sack. We were very sad, and prepared for the loss. The doctor made the choice to let me miscarry on my own, and told me to go home and it would happen within the week and he’ll keep close contact with me.
Needless to say we were both very sad, we were so excited when we found out that we were pregnant. I stayed close to home, but after one full week with nothing, and still feeling “pregnant” I decided to throw caution to the wind, and went with the family sledding.
I had Danny give me a blessing and he said that all would be fine. I was so angry when he finished, how could you tell me it was all going to be fine, when we both saw that ultrasound. The doctor had made it pretty clear that this baby was not to be.
I had an appointment the next monday to meet with the doctor, and he was surprised that I hadn’t miscarried, he sent me over for some lab work, and it showed I was still pregnant. I then spent the next week going in for lab test on a daily basis, and he was very kind to call daily to give me the results himself. He finally scheduled me for another ultrasound, and the look on his face when he saw that there was a fully formed appropriate sized, heart beating baby. I thought he was going to cry. He just kept shaking his head, and mumbling how he couldn’t understand how this could be. He apologized, but said that my blood levels were still messed up so we went on progesterone shots for the next 10 weeks of pregnancy. I worried for the rest of the pregnancy that there was something wrong and that we were just preventing what should have happened and that maybe we were making a mistake by preventing a miscarriage. It was an emotional time for me, but when we finally had our baby, I knew immediatly that everything was fine. I of course had to apologize to Danny for being so angry with him after the blessing. I was humbled, and was reminded that I’m not really in control in this life, and that I need to excercise my faith a little more.
Aubrey is a total delight. She has sparkled from day one and I fell completly in love with her from the moment she was born. She has always had the ability to make people smile, and laugh. She is the first to share, the first to cuddle, the first to cry for someone who’s sad. She is just what our family needed and we love her so much.
Today we had a little lunch for Aubrey with some of her friends, nothing big and elaborate, just a lunch. We are going to go to Lake Tahoe to celebrate her wonderful life. We love you Aubrey.