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I remember watching parents with their children and (gasp) judging them. I’d often comment to Danny or just to myself that “I won’t let my kids do that” or “you wont catch me doing that with my kids”. Well recently I’ve had a few of those moments. I often feel the house closing in on me when I know that Danny is due home soon and I have so much that I haven’t completed yet. I ponder what I have done that day, and what I have to show for the day. What will I tell him that I have done. I have a stack of books that I’ve read with Aubrey, but that doesn’t take 8 hours. There are dirty dishes in the sink I guess that proves that we’ve eaten today… Anyway, let me get back on my topic here. I was folding laundry in a desperate attempt to accomplish something with my many hours that I spend at home. When I fold laundry I sit against the wall and build piles out from me but it fences me in. So Alyssa got a hold of a pink marker (this is one of those things that I wouldn’t let my kids do). Come on what parent lets their one year old play with a marker. I figured she wouldn’t get the lid off WRONG. She did. So I jumped up over the top of the laundry knocking several piles down and took it away. She screamed, cried, I think you get the picture. I placed the lid back on and gave it back to her, what are the chances she’ll take it off twice. Back to the laundry I go I figure she’ll lose interest as little children often do, but she didn’t of course. She took the lid off, so up I go take it away, and we start over. This goes on a few times and that panic feeling sets in and I start to think that I’m never going to get this laundry done. So I just said “oh well, what’s the worst that can happen with a marker” I let her just have it. She sucked on it a few times, and colored on her white onsie. I justify it with the thought of we are done having kids and she has almost outgrown it anyway. I guess my awakening happened when my older kids came in to start collecting piles of laundry to put away. Emma shrieks “Mom aren’t you watching her” I thought “she is going to say things like her Mom just like I say things like my Mom”… sorry Emma. Tanner comes in and being a boy, solves the problem kind of. He yanks it out of her hand, at this point I’ve lost all interest in laundry I’m past my point of panic and I’m enjoying the things going on around me. Alyssa of course screams at Tanner and he gives it back. It looks like Alyssa is going to win this one. Well the laundry did get folded and is put away until tomorrow when it starts over again. The older kids think I have lost my mind but overall the damage of the marker wasn’t so bad, and I think I’ve learned a small lesson. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to go all crazy and let Alyssa do everything she wants, but maybe I need to relax just a tad. As for Danny, he’ll be home in 5 minutes, and the dishes aren’t done, but being the perfect husband he wont say a thing, I’ll be the only one asking what I did today, and wonder if I couldn’t have fit those dishes in…

My friend Rhonda showed me some stomach excercises on friday. Yikes, I’m in so much pain. I guess that means I need to keep at them. I worked on arms today and did the 45 minutes on the elliptical. I’m not dropping weight as fast as I would like, but I’m not giving up. I’m just trying not to think about it so much. I’m blaming it on the fact that I’m gaining muscle while losing fat so it’s just taking it’s place. Don’t burst my bubble…

but I’m not. It’s been washed, just needs to be folded and put away. Anyway, I’ve been giving this blog thing a lot of thought. With 45 minutes on the elliptical, I have a lot of time to think. Blogging is new to me, but I find myself paying closer attention to the happenings in my life so that I can record them. It’s a lot like a journal, only a little narcissistic and time consuming. It gives strangers ammunition to criticize my parenting choices. I don’t think many strangers are reading my blogs though so I guess I’m really only giving ammunition to those who love us and I’m sure they wont use any of this against me. Right? One day I guess it could mortify my children though. Yikes why do I do this again?
I was pretty upset this morning when I got on the scale. I know I said I wasn’t going to weigh myself, but I am limiting myself to a weigh in once a week, I have to know that something is happening. Danny got on the scale this morning, and is down 5 pounds, I’m happy for him, but the other side of me wanted to jump off the end of the bed where I was lacing up my work out shoes and pull him to the ground and well, I don’t know what, but scream it isn’t fair. He’s been going out for a walk during his lunch time for one week now, and he’s down 5 pounds. I’m watching what I eat and hitting that elliptical hard for 45 minutes every day now for 6 weeks I think it is and I’m down 7 pounds. Sigh… why isn’t this working better, I’m trying not to become upset, but who am I kidding. I’m upset. I didn’t quit though I went to the gym today and hit it hard really hard, I must say my calf’s are looking really nice… I have to take what I can get. Maybe I’m gaining muscle or maybe I’m just delusional. Whatever it is I’m going to keep at it. There is my pep talk for the day, sad that I have to give myself a pep talk…
So here is an update on what we’ve been up to. Monday was FHE, and we went to a small pond in Dayton, it’s really a gross place, and I wouldn’t touch the water, but we wanted to feed the ducks. Dayton has dumb ducks, they had no clue what we were doing. So the kids just climbed trees and played in the dirt. We found signs of spring, there are buds about to open on the trees, Yeah Spring! I brought my camera and caught a few good pictures of the kids. It’s a hobby of mine, and I’m enjoying myself. I got some cute close ups of their faces. Anyway, we came home and didn’t have time for lesson so we played a game of stump the family. This is where we take the pictures from the church kit and one kid picks a picture that they think no one will be able to tell what is happening in. Emma picked Esther, and no one was able to identify it. She picked a few others, but I can’t remember which ones, but we were able to identify them. Aubrey wanted hot chocolate for treat, and then it was off to bed.

One more tidbit for the week. Emma got her Gifted and Talented report card this week, and it made me chuckle. In the comment section the teacher wrote that she was sure that Emma would run the country some day and that she found it very hard to challenge Emma. I love things like that, I guess you could compare it to a raise in a job, or a promotion. I really can’t take credit for their good things because they are who they are but it’s still a nice pat on the back.
I’m watching a little boy right now, I guess I should go and give them some attention and maybe we’ll blow some bubbles, I wonder if I can get bubbles on the camera… yea something to do.

It’s been a very busy week. It was spirit week at the school so Emma and Tanner had to go to school dressed as what they want to be when they grow up. Tanner went as an FBI agent, but that seems to change often. He had a thing in his ear and a two way radio, he wore a white shirt and tie. Emma went as a gymnast and an author, she couldn’t narrow it down to just one I guess. So I put her hair up and stuck pencils in it for the author part and she wore one of her gymnast get ups with a pair of pants over it. I wonder how hard it was for her to go to the bathroom all day… Wednesday was crazy hair day. Tanner wanted a mo hawk, so a mo hawk he got. Emma went with some funky buns and I colored parts of her hair green. Thursday was PJ day, it’s an odd feeling to send my kids anywhere in their PJ’s, but they seemed happy.

We also had our last week of swim lessons. Aubrey has been having so much fun swimming. Tanner has gotten pretty good, and can now jump off the diving board and swim to the side, so it should be a fun summer up at Lake Tahoe. The teachers just loved Aubrey, they seemed to get a kick out of everything she did or said. It’s fun to watch her listen and obey the coaches. She is growing up so fast, I hope I don’t miss something. Aubrey even got up the courage to go off the diving board, I was proud of her.

Did anyone see the Lunar Eclipse on Wednesday. Everyone was pretty excited to see it around here. I’m a wimp, I came out for a few minutes, but it was too cold for me. Here’s a picture of the kids (and Danny) watching the eclipse.

I’m still going to the gym everyday except Saturdays and Sundays. I’ve stepped it up to 45 minutes on the elliptical and I vary the intensity of it. I do around 3.5 miles and burn almost 500 calories daily, but I’m only down 6 pounds after 4 weeks of this. I’ve started a food diary so hopefully I will be able to narrow down where I’m really messing up. I’m hoping to be down 30 pounds by summer. Alyssa has been so sick this week so I’ve been going to the gym at 5:30 or 6:00am so Danny can stay with her. I’ll be happy when she is feeling better and I can sleep a little later. I must say I’m proud of myself for my dedication to this gym thing that I go even when I have to get up early to go. I think I prefer going at 9:00am after I get the kids off to school. Well, its been a busy week, hopefully this next week everyone will be healthy and happy and we wont be quite so busy in the evenings.

Well, we took our annual sledding trip at Lake Tahoe. As you can see everyone had loads of fun, and thankfully no one was hurt. Tanner hit a tree with his leg, and Aubrey and her little friend Kendra took off through the trees and Kendra’s father had to jump in front of the sleigh to stop them, but overall it was a success. Alyssa is feeling under the weather again. I can’t help but have a little guilt she has been sick free since she was born and since I stopped nursing her she’s been sick twice back to back. Parenting comes with so much guilt. Alyssa did hop on the sled with Danny and Aubrey a few times and had a little fun. The picture of her with her double barrel snot pretty much summed up her thoughts on sledding. Maybe next year she’ll enjoy it a little more.

OK, I was feeling bad that I was ragging on Valentines Day, so I copied this from someone I know and thought it would be a perfect post on my blog.

What is his name? Honey, Dad, Danny to me, but most people Dan

Alright I feel like I have redeemed myself from my bad feelings about Valentines Day.

Yesterday was Valentines Day. I told Danny not to do anything for me for Valentines Day, I think I have finally outgrown the holiday, but I didn’t think he’d actually do nothing… I’m not upset though, I don’t need a holiday to feel loved by Danny, I know he loves me all the time. Aubrey was really cute there is a boy in our ward who plays a lot with Aubrey and he brought her over a Valentine yesterday, and she said, “He must really love me”. Today at preschool she told him when she grows up big big like her mommy (easy on the big kid) and he grows up big big like his Daddy that they can get married. It’s all innocent so I’m not worried, and I don’t promote it, I just thought it was a sweet gesture. Anyway, it wasn’t all a bah humbug day, I do have children after all, and they haven’t outgrown the holiday so I got busy and made up a double batch of sugar cookie hearts for FHE (after I went to the gym of course). The kids spent a lot of time decorating them and not nearly as much time eating them. We had loads of fun. I hope everyone had a great Valentines Day, I know I did just watching my kids enjoy the day.

Last weekend we were all ill, and the weather was well less than desirable. This weekend we had temperatures in the high 50’s and just knew we needed to get out and play. We made plans to drive to a hiking area in Reno called Galena. When we got there, it was completely covered in snow, elevation wise it isn’t very high, so we thought we’d be safe, but the snow was easily 4 feet deep. The kids wanted to play in it, but we were dressed for sun not snow so we had to find somewhere else. We remembered that Reno has a river walk, and so off we went. Danny and I haven’t been to down town Reno since we had Tanner so it’s been a while. We parked at a park called Idlewild and we set off to down town which was about 1.5 miles away. There were the occasional homeless person, but overall it was lots of fun.
We ate lunch at a Mexican restaurant in down town Reno. After that we headed back to the car. We let the kids play a lot along the way, and there were many bridges we had to cross. At one crossing channel 4 news was there talking to people about playing in the sun after all of the snow that we had. They talked with the kids, surprisingly the kids were really shy, even Aubrey who I think will tell anyone just about anything, she even told one person where Alyssa came from, that was a little awkward, but she wouldn’t even look at the T.V. people. I guess kids can be unpredictable. We’ll have to check the news tonight and see if we are on it. The rest of the day was spent playing at a local park, and then shopping at Costco, Trader Joe’s and watching a movie. I think we all got some much needed sunshine.

Last night I was still not feeling well when Danny got home from work. He suggested that we go out for dinner. We went to a local casino, the food was… ok, nothing to get too excited about, but the kids were at their best. We talked, joked, and just enjoyed each others company. The mood continued when we got home. Tanner read stories to Aubrey and Alyssa and Emma has been working on playing “Because I Have Been Given Much” on the piano and has just about mastered it. That is two hymns she can play now, I just burst with pride when I hear Emma play the piano. That is something I have always wanted to do, and I will when I’m not occupied with other important thing like Alyssa and Aubrey. Tanner is doing well on the piano also, but Emma has had a year and a half of lessons now and Tanner has only had 6 months of lessons, so he has a ways to go. I’m proud of him though, because he wants to play so badly and tries with all his heart. Anyway, I wish I’d gotten a picture of it, but Tanner read Aubrey to sleep last night, he loves to do that. He’ll come in and tell us that we need to move her because she’s fallen asleep in his bed. I love seeing my children love each other.
Well I made it to the gym again today. I really do love going, I just want instant gratification. I’m that way with lots of things, hopefully this time I’ll learn some that things that are worth it take a lot of time. I’m still staying away from the scale, although the one at the gym today was calling my name. Good thing it is out in public, wouldn’t want anyone to see what I weigh. We live in too small of an area, there are at least 5 people from my ward working out at the same time that I am. That scale can call as loud as it wants, I wont be getting on in front of all those people, and I don’t know where Danny hid my scale… sigh, I just need to be patient.
I caught a few pictures last night of Tanner reading books to Aubrey, but once I brought the camera out my little model had to pose, so I had to put it away.

Well, my goal to make it to the gym met it’s first obstacle. It always seems to work that way, and I’m not sure why. I was really ready to do this, but then caught a sinus infection that is trying to work its way into my chest. I missed going to the gym on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. We didn’t go to church yesterday because the yucks going through the family. Emma and Tanner faired well without a single sniffle, but the two little ones and me were laid up most of the weekend. Danny has had a sore throat for a number of days, lets hope he doesn’t get it also. The gym today was so hard. Really hard. I was trying hard not to cough so that I didn’t scare everyone off. I don’t feel all that bad, but I feel like I’m starting all over. I worked out next to a lady in my ward that I don’t know very well, it was nice to talk with her, when I could talk through taking large gulps of air to keep from falling over. We have daughters the same age, and they are very similar in personality and get along well. I learned some new things about her. I thing both of us keep to ourselves so it’s been hard getting to know her, but we have a lot in common, yeah for that. I love meeting new people, and finding things in common with them. Anyway, I’m back on my fitness goal, and I might even go back to the gym today for a toning class although I’m a long ways from toning. We’ll see how it goes.

I thought my legs were going to give out on me today, thank goodness I brought a book for a good distraction. I refuse to look down at the time or any of that until I’m finished or I get distracted. It’s good though that my legs feel tired, I just need to keep going. I know it’s only been 3 days, but I feel better already.